Healthy Boundaries: What They Are and How to Create Them
Setting healthy boundaries is one of the keys to maintaining lifelong self-respect and self-love. However, unfortunately, no human being was born with a “no trespassing sign.” Instead, healthy boundaries are more like an invisible safety bubble that others can feel when they intrude.
Defining Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are essentially your own personal governing of your personal space. Rather than being a constant people pleaser, you know when to draw the line in the sand and say “enough is enough.”
In an ideal world, not one single person would be selfish and try to take advantage of you. However, that simply is not the case.
A good hearted individual should not only keep themselves receptive to love and friendship, but also build the EQ to know when they’re being taken advantage of.
The Benefits of Setting Healthy Boundaries
Setting boundaries isn’t about putting up a defensive safeguard against everyone in your life. On the contrary, a person with healthy boundaries has freed themselves of a lot of unnecessary stress and as a result, they are calmer and happier.
Here Are Some Incredible Benefits of Setting Boundaries:
● Stops relationships from becoming toxic and unsafe.
● Conserves emotional energy.
● Allows you to be vulnerable and share your life without oversharing.
● Helps you to stick to your values.
● Helps prevent you from being manipulated and used.
Setting healthy boundaries in your life is one of the best things that you can do for yourself. Plus, the increased self-respect will spill into other areas of your life, thus creating healthier relationships and helping you to achieve your goals.
The Healthy Boundaries Gameplan
If you’re sold on setting healthy boundaries in your life, you should be. Here are some valuable strategies to implement in your life on a daily basis so that you can immediately experience the benefits of setting healthy boundaries.
Assert Thyself
Asserting yourself doesn’t always mean being rude and harsh towards others. The best way to assert yourself is in a calm and relaxed manner.
Asserting yourself is easy. Simply use an “I” statement and gently give the recipient your boundary.
Here are a few examples:
Situation #1 : When a family member is watching football and being loud.
Your Statement: “Hey, I’m trying to study right now. Can you please keep it down a little?”
Situation # 2: Your spouse shares an embarrassing story with a friend
Your Statement: “You embarrassed me a little bit earlier when you mentioned that story about __X__ with your friend. Can you make sure not to share that with anyone from now on?”
Situation # 3: “When a friend asks you to go out for drinks and you need to do some work.”
Your Statement: “I appreciate the invitation to go out for a drink, but I really have to focus on getting some work done tonight to get ahead.”
What If Asserting Yourself Isn’t Working
Most people are respectful when you assert yourself and may even be inspired by the fact that you’re willing to stand up for yourself and say no. However, a small percentage of people will press on after your assertion.
How do you handle someone that resists your assertion?
To be honest, if a person never respects your boundaries and assertion, you probably need to distance yourself from that person or even remove them from your life completely.
Always look at yourself first. Are you being reasonable and gentle with your assertion? If you aren’t (we’ve all been there), then work on your assertion approach.
However, if you’re being more than fair with asserting yourself and the person repeatedly attempts to step over your boundaries, consider removing them from your life.
Life is too short to allow yourself to be bombarded by people that don’t respect you.
Hope That Helps!
Remember, asserting yourself and setting healthy boundaries is easy once you make it a habit. Starting immediately, begin practicing assertion in a kind and direct manner. The more that you do it, the easier it gets.